Elon Musk reveals plan to have humans on mars by Tuesday

Student at “Lax Bros and Preppy Hoes” party shocked, saddened by friends’ #MeToo status

New diet soda just kills you

Chancellor: “No threat to campus exists, unless another guy comes with a gun”

Area man having trouble deciding how to waste time

UWPD officer dejectedly writes ‘0’ on “days without kidnapping attempt” chalkboard