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10th Circle of Hell Created for Girl Who Said “Syllabooze Week”

Story time, friends!

This semester was gonna be totally different. I know I barely went to class last semester and every other semester but I really thought this was gonna be the year of me. I went to every single class, even my early one at noon, on Wednesday. But four classes in one day is just so much and during the last one something happened and I just kinda snapped.

So this girl walks in with her hair in, like, the most massive bun I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I thought, “This bitch is about to block some sucker’s view,” and two seconds later she sits down directly in front of me. Strike one. Then she pulls out her iPhone and makes a FaceTime call 3 fucking minutes before class. And not even just a FaceTime, a group fucking FaceTime. Not here for that sis, Strike Two.

Her and her friends were talking about their first Thirsty Thursday of the semester, which bars they were gonna hit up, which ones probs wouldn’t accept their fakes, whose dicks they were trying to suck at the A-Bar party at Pike, ya know, just girl talk.

But then this bun bitch goes, “Oh, I gotta go, class is starting, happy syllabooze week y’all!”

Oh fuck no. Nuh uh. Strike three, four, five, six, seven, and eight. I tried, you guys. I legitimately tried to give going to class a shot but shit like this is too much for me to handle. There will always be some bitch in a KKG sweatshirt making some holiday an excuse to drink. It’s fucking ridiculous.

You don’t need an excuse to drink if you do it instead of class, every morning, in the comfort of your own bed. These cunts need to learn. And this knowledge is that which cannot be learned in a traditional classroom setting. So, in conclusion, I’m not going back to class. But like, this time I deserve it.


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