Misnomer investigative reporters discovered Wednesday that the DJ Khaled concert was actually put-on by an impostor with Spotify Premium.
An anonymous informant explained that the entire event was an elaborate ruse by Mentos who could not afford the actual DJ Khaled.
“We knew we didn’t have the money for DJ Khaled, but we really didn’t think that Sam kid was going to be able to do it,” he said. “I mean, 43,000 packages of Mentos? That’s fucking ridiculous.”
Despite the risk of having to pay-up, the deal was viewed as a necessity for the company that has seen declining sales in recent years.
“Mentos isn’t doing super hot as a company. Half of our annual profits come from kids buying mints to explode Coke bottles, and even those sales are going down because they can just watch it on Youtube,” he said. “We were on the fast track to becoming as irrelevant as Sears, and literally no one gives a shit about Sears. We really needed some kind of PR stunt to get people to pay attention to us, but we couldn’t afford the $42.75 it takes to hire DJ Khaled. In the end, we had to compromise.”
Further, the informant explained that not everyone in the company feels that the deception was unethical.
“DJ Khaled produces music; he doesn’t make it. A concert from him is already more or less just a dude with Spotify Premium raising his hand up and down and shouting his name at you,” he said. “On a fundamental level, we still gave Madison the DJ Khaled experience.”