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Elderly Professor Sent to Farm Upstate

AN UPPER DIVISION CLASS: The 98-year-old professor, Dr. Leonard Worthington, whom you all loved dearly, announced his imminent retirement last week. In a statement, Chancellor Mnookin wrote, "After 70 years of loyal service to this institution, we have sent Dr. Worthington to a farm upstate in Hayward. He will be able to run freely, pick flowers, and scribble red "F"s on tests for the rest of his peaceful days. We know it's normal for people to retire at the end of the academic year, but Dr. Worthington believed that now was the time for students to continue their academic journey without him."

Worthington’s TA emphasized that he was happy, healthy, and alive -- and that he would be happier at the farm.

Most of Worthington's students were sad, but happy to hear that their beloved professor would be free to enjoy his sunset years in peace. "I was sad to hear that he would be leaving, but I think that farm will be great for him," said Jessica Liu, a former student of Worthington’s.

Fighting tears, Andrew Chen, another student of Worthington, stammered, “It’s so hard to say goodbye like this. I had him for four classes. I’m just happy that he’ll be able to play and run around to his heart’s content.”

Some students voiced different opinions, however. Kevin Nguyen, who dropped Worthington’s class in its first week, said "I'm glad he's gone. Worst professor ever, I bet he couldn't even open a PDF. I honestly wish he had just died or something. But yeah, the farm is fine, too. Hope he gets trampled by a cow."

The farm's location has not been disclosed, and Chancellor Mnookin stated that pictures will not be released to keep the professor in a technology-free world.

The Misnomer was able to confirm that there are a weirdly large number of dogs at this farm.

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