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Forestry major uncuffs pants

A landmark event occurred at the University of Wisconsin Wednesday as Junior Forestry Science Major Avery Carson uncuffed his pants, hiding his patterned wool socks under his olive green slim fit chinos.

According to bystanders, Johnson began to build up to the historic moment minutes after completing a soil science midterm, while walking down the Lakeshore path, as a way to celebrate the 60-degree spring weather.

According to bystander Glenna Daniels, Carson “went over to one of the benches off the path and propped his leg up on it. A lot of people were exchanging confused looks, like ‘he’s not really going to do it, is he?’ How else are people supposed to know he really, really loves nature? I would understand it if he had on a solid pair of vintage Birkenstocks, but he only had Chukka boots, which is ambiguous, if anything.”

When asked why Carson might’ve done the unfathomable, Daniels replied “It just doesn’t make sense anymore. There used to be rules. There used to be a way that things were done at UW. What’s next, accounting majors not wearing neon green ties? Computer Science majors wearing well-fitting jeans? UW needs to have structure!”

Carson, following the unprecedented turn of events, grabbed his earbuds out of a conveniently placed pocket in his Osprey hiking backpack, took a long drink out of his translucent Nalgene bottle and continued walking towards Library Mall, where he hoped to grab a sunny spot on the grass.


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