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Forty year old student not here to fuck around

Furiously taking notes in a yellow legal pad from the front row of his Math 221 lecture, 40 year old student Chris Thomas reportedly told nearby students on Monday that he was simply “not here to fuck around”.

An undergraduate student at UW-Madison and proud father of three, Thomas recently returned to school in pursuit of a bachelor’s degree in economics. According to fellow student Clarissa Johnson, Thomas “confidently strolls into his Van Vleck lecture hall three days a week sporting his trademark light-blue dad jeans before slamming his absolutely overstuffed trapper keeper onto his desk for the day.”

“I don’t know what he’s carrying around in that binder of his, but it looks like it must weigh at least 50 pounds,” said one fellow student of Thomas, also making note of Thomas’ proclivity for ruining the class curve and prompt arrival to lecture. “He gets to lecture at least 25 minutes early, and always stays after to talk to the professor.” When not asking his professors needlessly complex questions, Thomas can be found studying in the parking lot of his son’s soccer practices or sneaking peeks at lecture notes from the audience of his daughter’s dance recitals.


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