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International Student Settles for “Dave” After Many Missed Attempts by TA


This past Wednesday, TA Xavier Shawabansky got in quite the jam while leading his discussion section. The discussion was going as planned until Shawabansky began to take attendance. Halfway down the list, the TA came across a name that just simply stumped him. Upon seeing this name Shawabansky, apparently muttered, “Alright you are gonna have to give me a few tries for this one.”


“Okay look, I’m all for UW Madison’s International Students. It is a really great opportunity, but like? They really don’t understand how much pressure it puts on the TAs. I just don’t understand why everything has to be so complicated. I mean, just look at my name, short and sweet!” said Shawabansky.


Shawabansky attempted the student's name for about two minutes. After feeling much mockery and embarrassment, the student had been so emotionally beaten down that he decided to cast aside the name that had been tied with him since his very birth and settle for “Dave.”


Once the discussion section was over, Shawabansky reported, “Ugh, it was so horrible. I was sooooo embarrassed. It was honestly almost rude of him. Finally, he said to call him Dave. I honestly feel like it’s the least he could have done.” said Shawabansky.


When asked what discussion he led, Mr. Shawabansky proceeded to say, “Oh, Ethnic Studies.”


This is quite an issue on the UW campus. TAs across all subjects are being unfairly tasked with learning the names of their students. On the other hand, there have been more and more UW-Madison International Students forced into settling for names such as Scott, Ryan, Emily, and Tom.


Shawabansky’s Ethnic Studies student now known as “Dave” was asked to respond to the matter.


“My name is literally Tanner Li. I’m from Toronto.”

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