Babcock Dairy is a special treat that many University of Wisconsin-Madison students and alumni hold dear. For some, it may even be a superstition, something eaten before every game day, or a big exam to add some luck to their day. With these hopes of improving chances of success in mind, the folks at Babcock Dairy released their new flavor, Bucky’s Lucky Nut, earlier this fall. Unfortunately, many aficionados of ice cream were unable to try the new flavor as it was recalled just a day after being released.
Due to the approaching holiday season, the ice cream masterminds decided to add a little seasonal flair to their new recipe. They didn’t want to go as simple as throwing in another overdone pumpkin spice or peppermint flavor, as that has been done before in the dairy dessert game. So, thinking outside of the box, lead ice cream flavorist Bob Caulk decided to look to the latest updates about the gift-giving season.
Thanks to Halloween weekend, Bob learned about a new ingredient supposedly now popular in the bags of trick-or-treaters: Fentanyl. Hoping this would be just the thing needed to get the new dish to flavor town, Bob made the executive decision to okay the ingredient list without the approval of the other flavorist members, the two cows that he lives with in the campus’s Dairy Barn.
As is custom, Bob decided to take a shift at Mem U as the initial batch of Bucky’s Lucky Nut was available for students and alumni, just in time for midterms. He hoped that the new flavor would bring enough luck to the students and it would become a new midterm tradition.
When the first student to try the flavor seemingly passed out, Bob was confident in his flavor-making skills. No one had ever been unable to handle his flavors. He was glowing when he knew the paramedics on shift at the hospital rushing over in the ambulance. No one had ever made a flavor so powerful. He hoped that this would be the start of his lucky run to the top of the ice cream game.
After a night of sleep and 58 doses of Narcan delivered to various patrons, Bob was called to meet with the head of Babcock Dairy. Thinking that he was in for a great round of applause and maybe even a surprise visit from his idol Guy Fieri, he was perplexed to see their lack of enthusiasm for the overwhelming flavor he had created. They wanted to see his ingredient list, something he always holds near and dear. Just minutes after giving up his secret ingredient, Bob himself was on the way to a different sort of flavor town, what some call the Wisconsin Department of Corrections.