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Pokémon Go Announces New “Find Missing Ballots” Feature



In light of the obvious election fraud which was alerted by the media earlier today, game developer Niantic jumped in to save not just the day, but the future of democracy.


Niantic’s popular game Pokémon Go, which is still relevant and definitely not something no one plays anymore, announced a brand new “Missing Ballots” feature of the game.


Players get to walk around their neighborhoods, scanning ditches, holes and dumpsters for the missing mail-in ballots. Their screen lights up, stating “FRAUD”, until the ballots are detected.


The United States government has shocked citizens by privately investing millions of taxpayer dollars into Pokémon Go in order to develop this technology. The cutting edge tech includes hyper realistic ballots hidden in various places, such as your neighbor’s Honda Civic, pizza boxes in dumpsters, and, shockingly, polling places across Pennsylvania.


There has been confusion among players as to whether locating the missing ballots is a good thing. Niantic has released a statement on this, saying, “The missing ballots provide underrepresented and underprivileged players with more XP and human rights. Who wouldn’t want that?”


Vice Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris, when asked for comment on the Biden campaign’s support of the new feature stated, “Pokémon Go Find that Voter Suppression!”



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