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Professor Uploads Sex Tape Instead of Lecture

We all know the excitement of receiving the glorious email that your class has been canceled that day. Instead of trudging through the classroom to sit through a 75 minute lecture, you get to play a recorded video in the background while watching Malcolm in the Middle or perhaps grinding out Vampire Survivors. That’s why no one could have prepared the students of Anatomy & Physiology 337 for the horrors they were about to endure.


On the  bright and sunny afternoon of February 20th, Robert Proses got an email from his anatomy professor, Dr. Janus, saying that class would be canceled, and that he would be uploading a recorded lecture instead. Knowing he would have time after his nightly quad workout, Proses opened the lecture video ready to take notes. When he pressed play, however, Proses was in for a big surprise. “I almost couldn’t believe my eyes at first; I didn’t know what I was looking at,” Proses told our reporters early today.

It quickly dawned on Proses that the man on the screen was indeed his professor, and the woman with him was indeed not unclothed for educational purposes.


“You would think that Professor Janus would have realized his mistake right away and taken the video down, but it stayed on Canvas for at least 3 days until he deleted it.” Proses told our reporters. 

The video quickly became viral among UW students and eventually led to a campus wide apology email sent by the Dean of the School of Human Ecology.


However, not every student was appalled by the tape.


“Ya know, I’ve watched a lot of porn in my days, and for a 65 year old man that video wasn’t half bad.” Said an anatomy honors student who wished to remain anonymous. 

This anonymous source refused to comment when questioned if they had downloaded the video to their hard drive or not.


Despite these horrific events, Janus has continued to teach his class, with students telling us that the next lecture he acted as if nothing had happened. The Misnomer has also received reports that during midterm evaluations, he posted a question asking to rate his sex tape lecture. Unfortunately, Janus has not responded to our emails asking what ratings he received on that section of the eval form. We also did not receive any responses from the Dean of the School of Human Ecology about the status of the professor’s tenure after these events.


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