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Report: Ashley has a fucking tapestry


Following dorm room move-in this week, reports are coming in that there’s a tapestry in Ashley’s room. Holy. Shit. As if Ashley wasn’t cool enough to begin with, now she had to go ahead and put up just about the chillest wall art known to humankind.


Approximately 20 minutes after placing the tapestry, Ashley just sat in her bed reading like the cool motherfucker she is. It was only when Sarah walked in to ask Ashley about her plans on Saturday that word began to spread of Ashley’s beyond dope decor.


“At first I thought it was a poster,” said Sarah. “But when I looked closer I found out it was made of cloth, and I just blacked out. It was too cool.”


Over the next hour, anyone with a brain went over and checked out the tapestry and accepted the fact that they would never really vibe as hard as Ashley.


“It’s a jaw dropping blend of hip and cozy,” said neighbor Amanda. “I’ve found myself just staring at it, to the point where I don’t even hear Ashley ask me to get out of her room so she can meditate.”


Anonymous sources claim that Ashley may also put up twinkly lights around her bed, absolutely destroying anyone else’s chances at being considered stylish.

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