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Rioters Outside of FOX’s Lego Masters Show Denounce it as “Too Sexy”

The Master Builders were met with hordes of masturbators as the show’s sex appeal proved to be too overwhelming for the general public. Tensions were already high when FOX announced that it would be pooling together a group of the world’s most prolific LEGO builders, a council of sex-havers that had previously sworn to not congregate in the visible public for fear of some kind of uprising. When it was divulged that the show would be orchestrated in the same format that every Food Network show is done in, America’s legs collectively opened. But once Will Arnett, the voice of such heartthrobs as Lego Batman and Bojack Horseman, was announced as the host, the floodgates were broken. The premise ended up exceeding the concerns made by publications such as Rolling Stone who described it as ‘dangerously erotic.’

The rioters outside the FOX studio where the show was filmed held up signs that displayed familiar rhetoric like ‘Let Us Have Sex With The Lego Builders,’ and ‘God I Am So Horny For The Lego Builders.’ The mob, consisting mostly of exquisitely attractive women, all united for their communal thirst for brick. Rowdy protestors tote around large buckets of LEGO as ravenous followers pick up all the pieces that fell out, feverishly assembling them together amidst various screeching and moaning.

The show’s managers have responded to the outrage since the riots with an anonymous manager saying, “it raises problems not only for our LEGO series, but our two sister series about eSports and trading card games.”

Another anonymous manager added that they will “try to cut down on Will Arnett’s witty one-liners, and we will try to scour the country looking for less attractive LEGO masters.”


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