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Shelter Dog Seriously Needs to Stop Barking


Rex, a local unadopted shelter dog, won’t stop barking and seriously needs to shut his mouth already.


Rex has been in the Short-Tempered Dog Sanctuary, a dog shelter which bolsters itself as “a safe space with quick blades”, since he was born in a puppy mill at the age of 0. According to employees and volunteers, the dog really has to shut the hell up already.


“He barks as if his life depends on it,” says one volunteer. “Just ‘yip yap yip yap’ as if you could even distinguish his barking over all the other dogs we already have in the shelter.”


The volunteer reassured us at the Misnomer that there is nothing to complain about for the dogs’ living conditions.


“Oh yeah, they get plenty of good experiences here,” says a volunteer. “We walk them up and down the narrow, concrete hallways of the shelter at least once a day while all the other dogs bark like someone is actually listening. They go out in the Rec Zone (an outdoor area at the end of the hall) which has whatever water we caught the night before during the rain and, sometimes, the dogs even see the sun.”


Volunteers and employees alike agree that the dogs “have it great” and “should really stop fucking complaining if they know what’s good for them.” Through all this, though, Rex stays defiant in his protest.

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