“I expected to zoom into Langdon or Mifflin, but he was so far away that Snapchat crashed… I didn’t believe my eyes when my phone rebooted and I saw that he was at an off-campus Wendy’s. Maybe he just needed a break from constantly being located at the 7-11 on State Street.”
Topher Johnson, freshman at UW Madison, describes his encounter with a floormate this past weekend. Said floormate, username James99xD, was located on Snapmap more than 15 miles from the UW campus at what can only be described by Topher as “an ungodly hour.”
“You can imagine what a shock it was to see him so completely off the charts. I was in disbelief for hours” said Topher Johnson, who only recently added James99xD to his friends list after a welcome week activity. Johnson recalls, “I was tossing and turning in my lofted bed–hitting my head each time I awoke from a stress dream.”
Johnson believed that he knew James99xD and his habits; his green-skinned Bitmoji stands out from even the most tightly packed Bitmoji bunchings.
“Even when it’s hardest to see who’s at which party, I can always know where James99xD is. I’m not used to being surprised by him. Honestly I feel confused and a bit let down.”
Tensions rose after Johnson accidentally sent a “Topher was typing…” notification to James99xD. He said that it was almost as horrible as the time he said “you too” after the Starbucks barista told him to enjoy his coffee. Not only did James get the notification in question, he knew that Johnson was looking at his Snap activity.
Matters then became worse Wednesday morning when Johnson ran into James99xD in the common room. He was covered in a chocolate Frosty. “It was like he was soaking in it all night” said Johnson.
“Yeah, I was soaking in a Frosty all night, it was wild. I woke up not knowing where I was. But luckily my bro Edmar and I were able to find out where we were using the cool filters.” said James99xD.
Topher has since stopped using Snapchat altogether, but was careful to have another user take over his streaks for the time being. James99xD has toggled between “ghost” mode and “human being” mode for weeks.