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Uh-oh: Dad Had One Too Many Beers and Brought Up the Divorce

Millions of Americans are preparing themselves for the most stressful time of year: spending Thanksgiving with their families. For many, the solution for the season lies in a bottle. But for some families, like the Williams’, alcohol shockingly makes things worse.

Deb Williams recounts that despite her concerns about returning to her familial home, everything had been going well. Her siblings were well-mannered, her parents were getting along, and her grandfather's dementia had recently struck him mute. All was well in the Williams household. The peace was not to last sadly, as her father Jeb Williams started in on his third beer and sealed the families fate.

“I blame myself really,” Says Deb. “He takes the first two beers like a champ. But anything, and I do mean anything, more than two beers just puts him too far gone.”

Upon the fathers first sip, he decided to interrupt his daughter's discussion about her research on dividing cells to remind her of her dividing family.

“I used to be happy,” recounted an inebriated Jeb. “Then Barb had to go rip out my heart. Why’d she leave? Was it because I work as an Easter bunny for a strip mall? Was it because I called myself Santa’s little slut when we saw him on tv? Is it because my name is Jeborah?”

When asked for a response, Jeb’s current wife Susan admits she had hoped her husband would have moved on from the divorce after marrying her six years ago. However, she admits it was the perfect segue into her announcement that she would be leaving Jeb for his brother.

“I just want a husband who doesn’t get sexually dominated by a turkey.”


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