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Win! Classmate Performs Impromptu Mukbang During Class

When students in PoliSci 434: Politics of Human Rights logged onto Zoom for their 12:05 lecture, they expected, at best, a mildly interesting lesson about various human rights treaties. They had no idea of the surprise that awaited them. They were in for a real treat-y, alright: one of their classmates was about to perform a special mukbang, just for them.

At around 12:15, student Anthony Hopgood finally turned his camera on, revealing to the class a large plate of fully-loaded microwave nachos, three large hot-n-spicy pickles, and a 16 oz. glass of whole milk. It was lunchtime for Tony, and everybody was about to get a taste.

Hopgood proceeded to turn on his mic and go to town, performing a “mukbang”: an art that involves graphically consuming vast quantities of food for audiences over video. While many mukbangers charge money for their valuable services, Hopgood graciously decided to give it to his beloved classmates for free.

Some students, however, were not grateful for the gift Hopgood had bestowed upon them.

“It was kind of distracting,” classmate Eric DeAngelo said. “He kept chewing and groaning loudly into his headphone mic. I think at one point he swallowed the mic and then yanked it back up. I could hardly hear the professor talking about the CIA’s practice of genital torture.”

Professor Steven Strand was unable to stop the performance art from happening. “I tried to turn off his mic and camera, but it wouldn’t work,” Strand said. “I think he may have somehow made himself the host without me knowing. All of my attention was on the sound of his smacking lips and labored breathing.”

By 12:45, Hopgood had finished his nachos, pounded his glass of milk, and was now sucking on his one remaining pickle with a smug grin.

“It just feels so good to share my gift with others,” Hopgood said. “I can’t wait to do this again soon—I have a tuna melt on deck that’s gonna blow their fuckin’ minds.”


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