RACHEL FEDORCHAK

Editor-In-Chief

Rachel is way too confident about knowledge she's gained from survival shows and wants everyone to know it

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ASHLING QUINN

Deputy Editor-In-Chief

Ashling’s sense of identity is derived solely from the country of Ireland, playing violin, and Type 1 Diabetes. She masks her lack of original thoughts by doing “impressions.”

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KEVIN HOPKINS

Advice Columnist

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Kevin Hopkins is a stage name adopted from Southern riverboat slang.

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BEATRICE LAWRENCE

Managing Editor

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Beatrice can do a pretty good clown horn impression, and she finds comfort in knowing that nothing she says or does will ever be funnier than that

JOE SCHWABA

Managing Editor

Joe Schwaba is a UW Madison student. He's grew up in American, is from the US, and is everyone's favorite guy.

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MARYBETH BARKER

Budget Director

With her anticipated degree in environmental studies, MaryBeth has dreams of making it big in the satire world. She hasn't written a single article yet this year, but thinks she will "probably get to that next week."

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SAM CLAYTON

Budget Assistant

Inside Sam are two wolves: plants and really niche punk music. These wolves are kissing. Sam is also constantly attempting to trans other peoples' genders.

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COLIN COOKSEY

Data Analytics

Colin leaves being funny to the rest of the team and tells himself spreadsheets are a good substitute for friends

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WILL ROMANO

Graphics

Will is a seasoned professional at using the free iPhone version of Photoshop to create all of our graphics. He only finds jokes about paternalism funny.

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STAFF WRITERS

Colin Cooksey, Marybeth Barker, Katja Fair, Ashling Quinn, and Aaron Thompson

STAFF CONTRIBUTORS

Rachel Fedorchak, Beatrice Lawrence, Rob McPherson, Efren Martinez, and Ben Baker