Stuck in a three-hour chem lab on Halloween but still wanna celebrate while obeying the strict dress policy? These 10 costumes have got you covered while you operate that hot, hot Bunsen burner.
1. Latex Glove
Use an extra-small glove to show off your assets while still protecting your fingies from chemical burns, or leave something to the imagination with looser, size large gloves for more sexy breathability.
2. Sexy Marie Curie (Alive Edition)
Demonstrate your commitment to scientific discoveries on this Hallow’s Eve by dressing up as the hot, living version of an important scientist who died of spooky radiation poisoning. And if all those people who are just dabbling in lab because it’s “required for their major” don’t get your costume, well, you don’t want to associate with someone who doesn’t respect lab culture anyway,
3. Sexy Lab Partner with Goggles and Proper Lab Coat with No Hanging Piercings
Nothing is sexier than being prepared for a lab that happens at the same time every week and not leaving your partner to try and fucking react zinc and iodine alone because you refuse to take your Claire’s jewelry out and therefore “can’t participate in lab,” Jenny.
4. Closed Toe Shoe
This is for all my modest people out there on Halloween. You can still make a statement by going as sensible footwear. Foot fetishes may be in season, but dropping a broken test tube onto your exposed toes is definitely not.
5. Sexy Student with Chemical Burns on 90% of Their Body
Danger is sexy, like having a wet t-shirt contest but forgetting to label which Erlenmeyer flask has hydrochloric acid and which has deionized water. Make this costume sexier by making sure to slowly strip under the steamy safety shower BEFORE your hot TA and classmates have left the room.
6. Face Lines from Lab Goggles
Those red lines that stay on your face for 3 hours after lab will attract a lot of intrigue from people wondering if you’re just a nerd or if you’re out living your life while healing from some very specific plastic surgery.
7. Sexy, Dead Albert Einstein
All of your classmates are gonna be like, “Who is that rotten daddy that just walked in? I wanna be THEIR lab partner.”
8. George Clooney in Gravity
He’s like a scientist in the movie, right? Space is probably more dangerous than 40 freshman mixing random chemicals under the supervision of one 22-year-old grad student who regrets his decision to come to UW Madison.
9. Labrador Retriever
Take this opportunity to exploit the ambiguity in the word “lab” for some laughs and lost participation credit.
10. Sexy Your Lab TA
This is one costume everybody is sure to get. The helplessness in your TA’s eyes as he watches you stick your nose in your solution to smell it instead of using the wafting technique would be even hotter with some eyeliner and a cropped lab coat thrown in for good measure.