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99% White University Forgets to Pretend They're Diverse

The UW Homecoming Committee recently faced backlash after posting a promotional video featuring a lot of whites, or as UW sees it: a lot of UW Students. It was basically a snowy Christmas morning. Or a mountain of cocaine in a basement on Langdon. Or just an entire frat on Langdon. That’s scientifically how white it was.

The Homecoming Committee has since issued a completely devoid abyss of an apology for their actions, stating “We just couldn’t find a single minority in all the places we looked: the rowing team, the European Studies department, or the College Republicans club.”

But this was not the case. Apparently, the Homecoming Committee caught interviews and footage of a number of underrepresented groups on campus, including the predominantly black sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha. The Homecoming Committee was reportedly seen shredding this footage and laughing maniacally as they listened to Childish Gambino’s “This is America.”

The student director of the Homecoming Committee, Brittany Miller, responded to the backlash by saying, “We deeply regret our actions and they do not represent the UW as a whole. We are not usually this thoughtless in trying to pretend, I mean show, we’re diverse.”

The Homecoming Committee has stated their intentions of moving past this incident and looking towards the future. Miller concluded her statement by saying, “We’ve got a whole lot of fun things for Homecoming planned that we’d like to turn attention towards, like, we’ve got this fun video slideshow of all the great people that have shaped UW. I’m sure at least one of them will be like ethnic or whatever.”


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