Hilarious and all-around comedic mastermind Dylan Masterson pulled the fire alarm at Ogg Residence Hall last night in one of the most brilliant displays of humorous farcity that ever has happened in the history of campus.
“It was funny ‘cus there wasn’t a fire,” Dylan said during an interview with The Misnomer. “Brad dared me to do it and I was like ‘ha no way, bro’ but he said ‘come on, dude, no balls’ so I said ‘bet’ and pulled it.”
Dylan said the residents of Ogg all evacuated the building within minutes.
“It was funny ‘cus, like, no one wanted to get up ‘cus it was like 1:30AM on a Tuesday.”
The incident didn’t just inspire the comedians of Ogg, it had other benefits, as Dylan went on to explain. “Girls were out in pajamas that they were wearing to bed, and Brad and I saw this girl on our floor wearing some booty shorts and Brad goes ‘dude, nice’ and we high fived. It was awesome.”
Dylan’s recollection is questionable, however, as he went on to explain he was “pretty fuckin blasted, tbh” after attending a rush event earlier in the night.
“Brad kept making me do shots of Fireball and I was like ‘nah dude I’m good’ and he said ‘no balls’ so I said ‘bet’ and I did more shots. I probably did like, I don’t know, eight.”
The effects of Dylan’s comedic genius have been felt since the incident last night, as the fire alarm has been pulled in Ogg Residence Hall twice since without any signs of a fire.
“Yeah, it was pretty fucking funny,” Dylan said, laughing. “Hopefully people keep doing it ‘cus it is seriously hilarious.”
Brad was not available to reach out for comment, but Dylan assures us “he thought it was hilarious.”