Last Wednesday, UW-Madison student Anthony Romano was sitting in philosophy when his mid-lecture fuck, marry, kill session was cut short due to one of his more self-righteous peers picking the professor's brain. Romano and the rest of the class had dealt with this sort of inconvenience before, but never on this scale.
“Let me tell you, this fucking guy is such a piece of work. Some people just like hearing the sound of their own voice, you know?” Romano said.
After many more pretentious hand raises, discomfort and annoyance spread like a virus throughout the lecture hall. Romano was forced to forfeit from deciding on Betty White or Queen Elizabeth and had to exit his fantasy.
“I’m sorry, but who the hell cares about how closely you identify with Aristotle? I can assure you Aristotle never dabbled in penny boarding. Go intellectually jerk off somewhere else.” Romano said.
“Somehow this asshole’s haircut irks me just as much as his hunger for knowledge. With a brain as big as his, they must’ve had to use a soup strainer to cut that hair. I can guarantee you to get a haircut that bad, "Suckcrates" probably attempted to critique and decipher Marx’s Manifesto while his Cost Cutters stylist worked on his colossal noggin,”
Romano was so off-put by these series of events he thought it would be best to go back to his personal game and enjoy the rest of the lecture.
“Fuck Aristotle, Marry Marx, and kill Mr. Fuckface Know-it-all.”