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Area man having trouble deciding how to waste time

With only a few precious hours with which he can avoid the pain of responsibility and consequence, area man Andrew Ostine is unable to decide on how to waste this fleeting time. Ostine says that with such a large selection of time wasting activities to choose from, he is facing a tough decision on how to make the most out of his unproductive afternoon.

“I could watch Netflix,” Said Ostine. “But I don’t really want to watch anything I’ve been watching, but I also don’t feel like starting anything new. Playing video games is a classic, but I feel like I should do something special this time around.”

Having avoided the basic responsibilities of maturity such as doing laundry, grocery shopping, and checking his bank account balance, Ostine says that with nothing to look forward to other than guilt and the pain of an unfulfilled lifestyle, he fears that he might be in for one of the most stressful relaxation periods of his life.

“I was set on taking a nap, but then I realized that if I slept it would feel like time went quicker than if I stayed awake.” said Ostine.  “But if I stay awake, I’ll have to think about how much it’s gonna suck when I start doing work. Honestly I kind of wish I could just start doing it now, but I’ve already committed to making nothing of this time, and once I commit to something I follow through.”

At the time of this publication, Ostine has yet to decide how to avoid the pang of obligation before the weight of adulthood comes crashing down.


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