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Canvas Offers New Fuck Marry Kill Minigame with Your Professors

In light of the current semester taught mostly online, University Relations told the administration to create a new sense of familiarity between students and faculty. In the Our Wisconsin Course in Canvas, a new minigame extension was added to make the undergraduate population come out of its shell and establish "relationships" between them and their instructors.

It is a scientific fact that facial recognition develops social abilities and advances communication skills between two parties. Some would even say that the way a person looks determines their compatibility and another person's connection. Physical attraction is an essential part of any bond, even if it is academic. Given the circumstances, the most accurate metric to make the best liaisons is forced-choice.

"If they kinda look like they skate, homebody can like get it," says Emma from Gamma Phi Delta. "Half of the guys on Tinder just hold up fish in their pictures, so seeing a man that can not only dress well but seems fun to talk to is so hot."

If personality traits can be assumed from a mediocre picture of a guy flexing his Dickies, the same thing goes for teaching style. Canvas can substitute weeks of uncomfortable SOAR appointments about switching or dropping a class with a fun and easy way to get to know your professors.

After the students received their classes, the "Fuck, Marry, Kill" minigame appears on their Dashboard. Each round is randomized until all possible combinations of faculty are exhausted. After a round is complete, fellow students' percentage decision rankings appear below the professors' picture. Data science majors are ecstatic about that feature since it finally allows them to figure out the true answer to the most subjective question; who is the hottest teacher on campus?


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