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Claire from Abodo: 'It's not apartments this time. It's about your father'

Dropping a bombshell on what would otherwise be a quiet day leading up until finals, Claire from Abodo announced via mass campus email that this particular email was far more serious.

“Normally, I’m concerned with throwing as many apartments at you as possible in a daily email in the hopes that our third-rate website gets clicks” said Claire in the email. “Now, though, now it’s serious. You must read further into this email. There are too many important things contained in this message about the well-being of your father for you to possibly pass this by.”

While many UW students were concerned and shocked, there was also considerable confusion.

“Yeah, I have two moms, so this doesn’t make sense” said Patrice Jones, a sophomore at UW. “Is she talking about my mom’s sperm donor? I don’t know that guy, nor do I care about him.”

“I feel like this is an elaborate ploy for Claire to say that their are still rooms available at Palisades” said junior Clarissa Hall. “Maybe she should just post to the sublet page instead and stop filling our inbox.”

At last report, Claire from Abodo was seen frantically roaming the UW campus, throwing apartment listings at unsuspecting freshman.


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