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COVID-friendly Ways to get Raw Dogged on All Hallow's Eve



Halloween is, for many, a holy time. The tradition of passing on STDs to the stranger in the most revealing outfit is threatened this year by the global pandemic. As champions of America's freedom of religion, we here at the Misnomer have concocted 13 COVID-friendly ways to utterly raw dogged while staying safe this All Hallows' Eve.

  1. Go as a full body condom (Bonus: Use white latex for that spooky spirit look)

  2. Bring a second condom for your respiratory system

  3. Wear a hazard suit with an unzippable crotch

  4. Pray real hard

  5. Hold a black cat above your head and recite any line from Halloweentown

  6. Inject bleach into his penis

  7. Like 10 of your racist aunts facebook memes to gain immunity

  8. Forward this article to 4 friends in the next 24 hours

  9. Wear a jack-o-lantern as a facemask

  10. Do it doggystyle to maximize distance

  11. Only sleep with people who have a six-foot penis

  12. Take candy corn for birth control

  13. Use a witches broom as a strap on

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