With the end of the semester comes the end of your group projects. You made it to the end, despite your constant pleas to be mercifully smote from the face of the earth. The last thing to do is fill out your peer evaluations. This is your chance to tell your professor about the hell your group members put you through, and this time you’re really gonna stick it to ‘em: you’re gonna choose “slightly disagree” on their evaluations.
That may sound harsh, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And you have never felt more desperate than when you tried to lead a Zoom meeting with four of the most indifferent people you’ve ever met, one of whom is clearly shopping on Amazon in another tab and another who is sitting in front of a libertarian flag and arguing with every decision you make.
When that survey tells you to respond to the statement, “This group member contributed regularly to project assignments,” don’t be afraid to give them what they deserve: a seething “slightly disagree.” Of course, they did show up to your group meeting that one time, and they even said a couple of things—or maybe they were talking on the phone. But they deserve a little more leniency, right? The semester was probably really hard on them, this isn’t a reflection of who they are as a student and you don’t want the professor to get angry at them. You should choose “neither agree nor disagree.” Yeah, that’s only fair...
Wait, no, you coward. Don’t pull your punches, these people submitted paragraphs that you spent more time editing than they spent writing. This is your only chance to possibly get retribution for the amount of time you’ve spent as an academic doormat. That “slightly disagree” is the only consolation you’ll get for the fact that these people will be graduating with the same degree as you, so pony up and lightly scold them, you baby.