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Freshman Tip for Making Friends: Get the Law Involved

Making friends as a freshman is hard. You’ve been dropped in the middle of a new city, the humor that got you through high school isn’t funny anymore, and you’re coming to the realization you hate everyone you were friends with in high school, there's a lot going on. But one freshman has figured out a foolproof way of gaining friends: getting the law involved.

“It’s all about contracts,” says freshman Hughie Jacobs, a formerly friendless freshman. “I asked them all about where they were going to live next year, and lo and behold they didn’t have a clue.”

Jacobs had crafted the perfect trap, and pulled out a listing he had found which conveniently required all six friends to be able to afford. Leveraging the threat of having to spend another year listening to the Housefellow cry in their room, everyone agreed to sign.

Jacobs is convinced he is set for life, since everyone knows all roommates are best friends.


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