top of page

"Friendly" Dog Has Concerning Amount of Flesh in His Teeth


Yesterday, an area dog owner Erica Wallace was spotted allowing her furry companion to run freely off-leash. When given the opportunity, he came sprinting up to the nearest unsuspecting pedestrian, and Wallace insisted that her pup didn’t have a mean bone in his body. There was just one small problem: her “friendly” dog, Spike, had a concerning amount of flesh in his teeth.


Wallace assured onlookers that her beloved canine’s aggressive demeanor and threatening growl were nothing more than a “rottweiler hello,” but at a certain point it became a little too difficult to ignore the red stains on his jowls or the alarming amount of sinew and muscle fibers caught in between his razor sharp fangs.


“That’s just how he says hi to people,” Wallace said. “And if he starts loudly barking or lunges at you while flashing his teeth, don’t worry. That’s his way of saying ‘I love you.”


When pedestrians naturally moved to cross the street, Wallace immediately claimed Spike “doesn’t bite anymore” and that he “loves people.” But based on the contents of his mouth, one could never tell if he loves people because he relishes a good game of fetch or if it’s because he enjoys the sweet, sweet taste of their skin and bone marrow.


“His bark is worse than his bite and honestly, his bite is not that bad,” Wallace said while covering up tooth-shaped scars on her arm. “Also, he may or may not have rabies, but I don’t think he does. Foaming at the mouth is that thing that perfectly healthy dogs do, right?”



bottom of page