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Hornibrook Banished to Realm of Lost Idols Until Wisconsin Reclaims Axe


Veteran Wisconsin Quarterback Alexander Hornibrook did what he could to ward off the Minnesotan invaders, but he fell short. After 14 years of prosperity, Wisconsin was bested 37-15 under the leadership of Hornibrook.


Overwhelmed by the weight of displeasure from his people, Hornibrook's spirit was absorbed into the Axe of Paul Bunyan.


Legend has it that he will remain trapped, enveloped by disappointment and shame until the next idol comes along and inspires the masses so vehemently that Hornibrook's name will fade to dust. Only then will he be released.


Until then, Hornibrook is cursed to be placed in a trophy room in Minnesota, staring forever onward at his conqueror's laughter and athletic growth.

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