Following a missed three-pointer by the Wisconsin basketball team, an exasperated Badger fan declared that he easily could have made the same shot a Division I point guard was unable to sink.
“I totally could’ve made that shot!” UW sophomore, Chet Bradley, exclaimed.
Bradley has never played a quarter of basketball in his life, not even for an elementary school team, but that didn’t stop him from claiming he would make a better shooter than a borderline professional athlete who spent his entire life practicing on the court.
To back up his claim, Bradley pointed to his years of vegging out on the couch playing virtual basketball with an Xbox remote.
“I’ve played so much 2k, bro!” Bradley yelled in between drunken Posh Bar hits. “I know all about ball movement. It can’t be that hard. You just have to stop on a dime after sprinting as fast as you can, out-maneuver a future NBA player guarding you, jump into the air, get a perfect arc behind your shot and time it all perfectly. Simple.”
Bradley then began berating the Badgers’ defense, coaching staff, and entire starting five. He repeatedly yelled at players for a lack of “coordination” as he struggled to walk in a straight line and spilled a drink on himself.
Bradley was later seen trying to throw an empty beer can into a dumpster. He missed the shot completely.