As a chill appears in the air, Americans gather inside and customarily add more spice to the bedroom—and we’re not just talkin about pumpkin spice. Yes, autumnal kink has a proud and patriotic history. For those of you getting ready to communicate your desire to participate in this tradition with your partner, our advice is to consult this guide before whipping out your American gothic-themed leather bodysuit. These are your fall-themed tips and tricks for whips and tits.
Step one: Communication
Approaching your partner about this topic is best done while enjoying a classic vanilla fall activity. Bring up the topic during a nice bout of pie baking, or during a casual stroll over crackling leaves. Start by dropping small hints. For example, if you two are apple picking, hold one up and casually say, “We could both probably fit this thing in craaaaaazy places, huh babe?” It might take total newbies a second to catch on, so be patient and understanding.
Step two: Gear
Once they’re game, conceal your excitement and avoid mentioning your Babadook butt plug. Sit them down and search the front page of BDSMazon. A few examples of gear that is in-style for the 2021 harvest season: the candy apple ball gag, the dick pitchfork, and the cutting-edge jack-off-lantern.
Step three: Safewords
While it’s pretty easy to get things heated up in such a sexy season, you need to be able to tell your partner when it’s too much. Just like in haunted houses, you’ve gotta have those glowing exit signs even if it doesn’t match the vibe of the 17th century horror experience. The number one rule here is to have a spring-themed safe word. Spring is a universal turn-off. Fucking when the rest of the animal kingdom is getting it on? No, thank you. Contrary to the usual rules of gardening, nobody wants to spread their seed during the planting season.