top of page

"It's really coming down," Says Dad

In our modern era of fake news, information is always in question. Sophomore Riley Caton relies on only the most trusted source for her news: her father Burt Caton. Burt is a 54-year-old Sheboygan resident who has worked in an automotive shop for the past 45 years and has always had a real eye for the weather.

“I call my dad every morning to get the scoop on how the weather for the day is looking,” says Riley. “This morning he said ‘Ope, it’s really comin’ down out here, best get yer parka out,’ and I knew it was time to break out the old Carhartt™."

Burt is well known for his weather commentary, being quoted as remarking “Ope, it sure is wet today” during the flash floods of late September, one of the few commentaries multiple fact-checkers have certified as 100% truthful. As well as “Well, damn, it’s hot out” last August.

“We don’t know how he does it,” stated Dr. Jacob Morris, a professor at UW-Madison’s School of Atmospheric and Oceanic sciences. “Somehow, he can make a comment about the weather in the middle of a weather event, and it is always accurate!”

Mr. Caton is being studied for possible ESP abilities, with multiple disciplines closing in on the middle-aged man’s talent for observing the world right in front of his eyes.  


bottom of page