A local Madison man has recently expressed his excitement over the fact that pumpkin spice is back in season. Doug Harvey’s excitement, however, is not for the reason one might initially believe.
“By far my favorite season is pumpkin spice season – I mean fall. All the lattes, foods that really shouldn’t taste like pumpkin, candles, whatever,” Harvey said. “Oh no, I don’t like any of that shit. It’s the women who like it that really makes the season for me.”
Despite being his favorite season, Harvey himself despises pumpkin spice. His reason for the season is a decidedly less wholesome.
“I hate pumpkin. I just love any excuse to hate and call women on their bullshit. It really warms my heart to relentlessly bully them for things they enjoy. Oh, you like pumpkin spice lattes? Typical,” Harvey said.
Pumpkin spice is one of the most popular fall drink flavors, and enjoyed widely by all genders, not solely women. However, it’s well-known that it’s disgraceful for women to admit to drinking a nice pumpkin spice latte on a crisp fall day. And don’t even think about getting it iced – how basic are you?
Later in the day, Harvey was reportedly seen standing outside of his local coffee shop spitting on the women walking out with their festive drinks.