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Local Student Uses Magnifying Glass on Canvas Profile Pics to Find Out if Classmates Are Hot

Finding the right person can be difficult. Campus is full of eligible single people ready to get cuffed. But whether we like to admit it or not, looks do play a significant role in finding someone. That’s why UW Sophomore, Jerry Perkins developed a new method of finding love. The Misnomer had the opportunity to speak to Jerry about his quest for human connection.

“So basically I was on all the apps, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, even Christian Mingle—and I haven’t been to church in over a decade! The issue is that even though there were a lot of hot people, it’s hard to start a conversation and show them how great I am when we never match. So, I started talking to girls in my class. The issue is there’s sometimes hundreds of girls in my lecture. I know it’s not PC to say anymore, but some of them are fugly! I don’t have time in lecture to look at every single girl to see if they’re hot or not! So I got the bright idea to look at Canvas over on the People tab. A bunch of girls set themselves as their profile pic, but the issue is Canvas makes the picture so tiny. Even when I zoom in, it’s not enough. That’s when genius striked! I visited my grandma for the weekend and before I left, I took her magnifying glass she uses for reading. After I got home I logged onto Canvas and started looking. I started making a mental note of the hot ones and next time I was in lecture I sat next to them. I pulled the ol’ ‘forgot my pencil’ schtick to start up conversation and the rest is history.”

The Madison Misnomer then asked if Jerry ever went on a date with any of the women from his classes.

“Well not yet, but this one hottie did invite me to the class GroupMe, so I’m almost there.”


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