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Local sub shop forgets who they’re dealing with

Breaking a record long five month silence, UW Madison satire newspaper The Madison Misnomer has reignited a an old feud between itself and sub shop Milio’s Sandwiches. The publication reportedly felt that  too much time had passed and Milio’s had “forgotten who they’re dealing with”.

“We felt that Milio’s had been put in it’s place” Says Editor-in-Chief Dakota Hitchner, “But when the freshmen came this fall Milio’s started to get cocky. And we have a duty here to make sure Milio’s remembers who’s in charge here.”

Stating that the sub shop’s sandwiches taste “like if you put untoasted sadness in between two pieces of drywall and threw it at an old dog”, the student run publication feels as if Milio’s lacks a true connection to the students on campus.

“Their shop is just so passé” Says editor Donovan McBride, “I get that they’re trying to make a statement by being so shitty, and I respect that. But let’s be honest, Milio’s isn’t Picasso, they can’t get away with the “so bad it’s good” trope. Just buy an oven, I don’t understand why that’s so hard.”

While Milio’s has yet to recognize the Madison Misnomer’s action against them, the newspaper says it will not stand idly by as Milio’s continues to serve food on campus.

“We may not have the money that Milio’s does, or the outreach, or the credibility, or the public’s favor, but we do have a facebook page.” Said Editor Nik Checots, “And we intend to use it to shed light on the great injustice that is that god forsaken sub shop. I swear, every time I watch some poor soul walk into Milio’s, East campus mall becomes the trail the tears.”

Despite the newspaper’s stance, some members have a different approach in mind when dealing with the sandwich restaurant.

“How about this: If Milio’s names a sandwich after us, we’ll pretend all this never happened” said Deputy Editor-in-Chief Paul Tael, “Call it ‘The Misnomer” and say it’s a veggie but put meat on it instead. I’m just spitballing here. They’re the sub shop, let them figure it out.”

Milio’s Sandwiches has yet to make a response to the offer.


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