Springtime means warm weather, neglecting responsibilities, and Cupid going on a second kill streak of the year. Some lucky singles cuff the only hookup they've had in months. Others have to seek out mates in more awkward first encounters than the back of Jordan’s Big Ten bathroom.
There is no scientific model for the probability distribution of fate, so a bachelor might take advantage of the circumstances in an attempt to find his potential true love at first sight. Oxytocin works in mysterious ways, making two strangers love birds just from one glance. A freshman at UW Madison, Ace Spades, was presented with such an opportunity because of strange circumstances during his Friday discussion section for the Managing Organizations 300 class.
"I was reluctant to come to the discussion today because I was faded asfff, but since my professor sent me an email about increasing my attendance due to my borderline failing grade, I had to slide," Spades said. Fortunately, his futile attempt to recover his grade was rewarded by undivided attention from the TA, who was also dreading her presence in the section. How cute!
"I was expecting discussion section attendance to plummet because of our school's recent hockey winning run, but not the extent that it did," exclaimed Stacy, a candidate for Master of Business Administration in the Grainger College of Business. "It was incredibly uncomfortable to have Ace drool without taking his eyes off of me because we were the only two people in the Zoom call. I don't think I've ever been called beautiful this many times in my life, even by my grandmother."
While Stacy was going through the different specializations in Human Resources, all Spades could focus on was a pimple on Stacy’s right cheek. Despite not knowing answers to any of the discussion questions, Ace always raised his hand and only sometimes responded in coherent sentences during the designated pauses for him. Stacy could only shake her head in disappointment. It seemed like Ace was suffering from performance anxiety, which could only foretell what would happen on a potential first date.
"Bro, I think the connection is there; it was so genuine. A couple more minutes in the call, and I could have gotten her number. Or wait, do you guys think TAs use Snapchat too?” said Spades.