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Nostalgia for In-Class Instruction Shattered by Classmates

Very few things have been more longed for in the past year than to stop living in “unprecedented times”. The loss of guilt-free human interaction left many to fill in the void with better memories, regardless of their accuracy.

“I was desperate. At first I could enjoy the extra jerkin time ya know; but by January I caught myself daydreaming about being back in a lecture with my classmates, any lecture.” said Junior Cal Williams.

Mr. Williams' experience is not unusual. Madison’s student body had been largely infected with a case of rose-tinted glasses, with students reporting everything from longing looks at Camp Randall to wet dreams about Memorial Terrace. All of this was shattered by the return of in class lectures.

In typical genie fashion, students were granted their wish, and forced to live with the reality of their desires. Most badgers found their experiences to be slightly different than their expectations.

Many students have complained about the difficulties of finding their classrooms now that they are no longer a canvas page away. The temperature fluctuations from classroom to classroom have also bothered many students. But most strikingly was the return to interacting with their fellow students.

“On zoom everyone was pretty quiet ya know. And no one wanted to be too confrontational online.” says Williams. “But back in person it's way different. I asked this kid what his name was and he told me he’d choke me with my own tongue.”

Petitions have been started to move classes back online, vaccination rates be damned.


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