During this time of online learning, most professors have had to come to terms with their students taking exams in some sort of online format. Whether it be extended timeframes, a Canvas quiz, or uploading pictures of answers that surely won’t earn more than a B, there is no way to enforce a closed-book test. When deciding to allow notes, however, professors were unaware that “open-book” translates to each student having dozens of Quizlet tabs open.
As an avid cheater, Dave Hammond is one of the many students that have mastered the art of using the study tool to search for exam answers.
“Look, I’m not a bad guy or anything. I get the whole school thing and all, but a simple control-F sure as hell saves a guy some time, you know?” said Hammond. “Plus, an open-note exam is only for the brainiacs with notes, and let’s just say I was spending most of my class time DMing the babes on BBCollaborate.”
With a 2.0 GPA, Hammond is reportedly stoked at the chance to up his grade using the collective knowledge of thousands of Quizlet users.
“I mean, not using these Quizlets would be shitting on all of those angels sent straight from heaven that made them as ‘study tools for themselves.’ Haha, wink wink, am I right? Seriously, like ‘studygirl72’ made this for her own betterment and not for me to cheat with? Get a hint, dude.”
Many professors are completely unaware of the extent to which students are using the internet to find answers. Hammond’s Econ 101 professor is one of these blissfully ignorant instructors.
“I can’t even tell you how touched I am by my students’ hard work during this time. Our most recent exam average went up 30 points from last year’s, and – God, I just tear up just thinking about it – students haven’t even been coming to class because they’re studying so hard. It’s an honor to have dedicated and caring students like mine.”