“If you’d be so kind, I would enjoy a Natural Light,” said Freshman Michael Klopke in the bathroom on the sixth floor of Chadbourne after he was sure nobody would walk in on him. This weekend is going to be his first Mifflin and he was rehearsing his beer requests to make sure he’ll fit in.
“Ay, cmon! What’s a fella gotta do around here to get some BEER, EH?!,” said Klopke, frustrated that his head still wasn’t big enough for his dad’s aviators.
“Which one of you suckaz wants to give this bad boy some beer?” said Klopke, worried the switchblade might scare too many people off.
“Guzzle guzzle! This clown needs some brown!” said Klopke, irritated that he wasted 40 minutes putting on the clown makeup
“Hey if you give me a beer I’ll go fuck that police horse,” said Klopke, proud of himself for finally finding the perfect approach.