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Pathology Student Asks If Contracting STD Can Count as Extra Credit

Iva Denise, a pre-med student who hopes to use her medical expertise to study pathology, was thrilled this week upon discovering she had contracted gonorrhea. Upon her diagnosis, she quickly emailed her professor to ask if she could get extra credit for her “hands on” approach. 

“Hey teach!” said Denise in an email to her professor. “Sooo…. I got somethin kinda weird to ask you…” She then detailed her diagnosis, as well as numerous symptoms she had seen manifest such as itchy genitalia and painful bowel movements. “So like, is it cool if I get some kinda points toward my final for this tho…??”

“Like honestly this is a super amazing opportunity for me,” said Denise, describing her inability to comfortably urinate to her professor. “Sometimes I think ‘oh my god this suckksssss’ but then I think ‘hey wait a second, this is like, an AMAZING chance to get real world experience.’” 

It is currently unknown if Denise has received any credit for her “extracurricular work.” Her professor did reach out for comment, saying “Jesus Christ she added two .jpg files to the email and there is not a chance in hell I open them.”

“P.S. Talk about ‘clap’ for credit!” joked Denise as she signed off. “But seriously tho I dread using the bathroom so please just throw me a bone here :)” 

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