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Soglin Really Wishing He Could Drink Pain Away at State Street Taco Bell

Following Mayor Paul Soglin’s defeat to Satya Rhodes-Conway in Tuesday night’s Mayoral election, Soglin reportedly expressed regret in his refusal to allow State Street’s Taco Bell Cantina a liquor license.

“What was I thinking?” said Soglin. “No other bar on State Street could ever offer the same combination of binge drinking and self loathing.”

Eyewitnesses say they saw Soglin outside the Taco Bell softly pressing himself against the glass, removing his hands only to wipe the tears from his face.

In December 2018, Taco Bell won a court case and was awarded their liquor license. They are expected to begin serving alcohol soon.

“I’ve never been so happy for my work to have been in vain,” said Soglin.


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