Rumors of beloved Office star Steve Carell’s presence on UW Madison’s campus spread rapidly Monday morning, sparking a widespread effort to track down and capture the actor as he took a campus tour with his daughter.
Two tour guides weren’t enough to keep the mob of Badgers away from Carell. The traditional tour of UW-Madison’s charming landmarks and university buildings quickly turned into an all out sprint through campus as students stalked the actors every move and swarmed him, screaming Office references at the terrified actor.
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!” yelled one student. “Hey, fuck Toby, right?”, shouted another bystander. The actor played along at first, saying “That’s what she said” to the students as his daughter hid her face in embarrassment. It wasn’t too long before things got out of hand.
The Facebook page “UW-Madison Memes for Milk-Chugging Teens” transformed from a simple meme page to a Steve Carell tracking center, mobilizing the student body to hunt the actor down, demanding an Office reboot.
“It was just like that fire drill episode.” remarked New Student Leader Derrick Douglas. “I honestly thought I was gonna pull a Stanley and have a damn heart attack. It started with a dude asking for a selfie with him, next thing you know 1,000 people are swarming him, frothing at the mouth, taking whatever they could get their hands on. Hat, shoes, wallet. It was a lot. We didn’t even get 20 minutes into the tour.”
The Madison Misnomer reached out to Carell’s camp, but after realizing we’re a UW organization, he declined to comment. Despite Carell’s absence, hordes of students continued to chant “Fuck Toby” in hopes of drawing the actor out.