UW-Madison student Ryan Collins unsuccessfully attempted to pause reality and cash in his “extra hour” from the daylight savings time change this past week by reciting an incantation that would purportedly buy him more time during his Psychology 202 midterm exam. His classmates reported that he ran out of the room in the middle of the test and heard ritualistic chanting followed by screams of agony.
“Yeah, he just randomly got up and left the room, and then we all heard him start saying weird stuff and yelling like his life was over,” said Maria Perez, his classmate who sat next to him during the exam.
“Everyone was telling me we were getting an extra hour from daylight savings, but no one was talking about how they were going to use it,” Collins said. “So I figured, why not try skirt the rules of the space-time continuum and give myself some extra time for an exam I didn’t study for?”
He also said that instead of studying for the exam he practiced the Reddit-sourced incantation that would supposedly pause time in only his reality for an hour, theoretically giving him just enough time to guess on all of the multiple-choice questions and bullshit his answers to the essays. However, when he attempted to summon his extra hour, nothing happened, causing him to scream in anguish and realize that he should probably return to his seat before he failed the entire fucking test.