As with the beginning of every semester, many students are dipping their educational toes into new classes that may lead to a new major. Some students, however, may choose to take a class for a very specific reason. For Annie Maring, the one thing calling her to General Botany was the Great Mighty Oak.
When Maring logged into the first online lecture of the class, she looked around her room at her interpretive oak paintings and furniture exclusively made of oak and took a deep breath. Maring was determined to learn anything and everything about how this pillar of natural beauty worked. However, everything came to a halt when Professor Luy went over the course outline.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Maring. “Trees would only be the topic of ONE lecture. It was like my heart was ripped out of my chest.”
Matters only got worse when she typed a hopeful message into the chat room: “I can’t wait for the tree lecture. The Angelic, Almighty Oak Tree is the pinnacle of life on this planet, and I think we should bow to Her Majesty.”
Professor Luy was taken aback for a moment and considered ignoring the bizarre message like so many professors would, but she decided to respond.
“Actually, we will not be speaking about the oak tree this semester. Not much to talk about with the oak, to be honest; it’s not like it’s a Douglas Fir, that’s for sure! No, we will discuss much more complex and interesting trees,” said Professor Luy.
Maring’s roommates reportedly heard inhuman yelling coming from the Oak enthusiast’s room when she got this news. They said that Maring later had to be talked into dropping the course instead of travelling to Professor Luy’s residence with an expendable hickory baseball bat.