In November of 2021, the Madison Misnomer received an anonymous inquiry from a student attending lecture:
Hi!
I am writing to you out of concern. One of my peers sitting in front of me plays the Sims 4 every class. While it can be entertaining and fun to watch, I can’t help but notice that he has a slight habit of pressing the “woohoo” button… over and over again. I mean these Sims are doing nothing but woohooing all day. Everyday. In the bed. In the shower. In the bed again.
And this isn’t limited to a few partners. There are Sims literally lining the sidewalk waiting for some action. I’m all for woohooing as long as it’s safe, but I could have sworn I saw the grim reaper slip in there at one point, which to me is just a health concern.
I’m wondering what you think I should do to confront the situation?
-Woohoo Whistleblower
Dear Whistleblower,
Thank you for sending in your concerns. I, too, would be woohooed out!
Have you talked to your TA to let them know that a fellow student is partaking in non-stop simulated fucking? Consider dropping in for office hours, as it is a safe space to voice concerns and designed for conflicts like this. Another option is to petition for EA to create a multiplayer possibility, create an even hotter sim, and steal all of the student’s virtual sexual partners.
I hope that these two provided options can help mend the situation! If not, we ask you to please not write back as we do not, and have never, run an advice column.
Best,
The Madison Misnomer