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Student savors final moments of well being before classes start


One week before classes start at UW-Madison, junior Matthew Park reportedly enjoyed carrot sticks and a jog after a full night’s rest. Park acknowledges that he’s treating himself well now because he knows that in the coming months his diet will only deteriorate and his sleep schedule will be nonexistent.


“I just want to take last chance to remember what it’s like to be healthy before it’s time to be a college student again,” said Park. “Maybe I’ll meditate, do some yoga, I dunno."


In addition to his physical health, Park claims he is also the happiest he’s ever been. He has enough self love and emotional maturity to come to terms with the fact that in one week’s time his entire world will be flipped upside down in a frenzy of stress and alcohol.


“You gotta roll with the punches,” said Park. “In this case the punches are anxiety, gaining weight, and a general sense of not wanting to be wherever I am.”


Park is taking the inevitable toxicity of his mind and body in stride, drinking 3 gallons of water a day because he knows he won’t drink any more until Christmas.

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