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Student Standing Beneath Van Hise "Really Hopes" More Roof Doesn't Fall

A couple weeks ago, students and faculty alike were shocked by the news that a massive concrete slab had fallen from the third floor of Van Hise directly over the entrance of the building. Despite the fact that nobody was injured, there has been concern that it could happen again, this time with more unfortunate results.

Sarah Schumer, a junior at UW-Madison, is one of many students who attends discussion at Van Hise three times per week. She was wandering around the entrance when the Misnomer asked for an interview.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s really lucky nobody was around when that huge concrete block fell,” Schumer said. “It probably would have killed them instantly, painlessly even. I sure hope more of the ROOF DOESN’T FALL NOW.”

Even though Schumer only has class at Van Hise Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, she says Van Hise is a great spot to hang out any day of the week.

“I like to come out here a couple dozen times a week and get some me time. It’s nice to have a space to think about the circumstances in which I would be excused from writing the twelve-page research paper I have due in a week, or the group project that my classmates are doing jack-shit for,” Schumer said. “Then I like to blow off some steam by shaking these structural support beams and hucking rocks at the weak spots on the building.”

Unfortunately for Schumer, her hangout spot is now closed while the university repairs the building and assures that it’s safe for students. But she says that won’t stop her from finding another fun place to spend her alone time.

“I have a couple other places I’d like to try,” Schumer said. “I might do some deep meditation in the medical school’s cadaver lab and see how that goes.”


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