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Teenage Pornhub Premium User Has Conflicting Feelings About Step-Mom’s Yoga Routine

Last Wednesday on April 22nd, quarantine teenager Auggie Corbin had a few dangerous thoughts enter his mind. If you haven’t heard already, Pornhub has graciously offered their premium services for free during this time of need. Corbin, being horny and alone, naturally, was quite fond of this business decision by the company. 

“Yeah, I mean they are doing God's work. Not necessarily the God my grandparents believed in, but I guess maybe a more sex-positive, opportunistic god. I understand this virus has been really hard on this country, but you know what else it has been hard on? My balls!” Corbin stated. 

The social distancing guidelines have affected many people across the United States, and the Corbin household is no exception. Many people are forced to find new outlets or forms of entertainment. For Corbin’s step-mom, it was doing yoga on the living room floor. 

“Here’s my issue. I don’t know if you guys have ever watched porn, but there are a lot of unwritten rules. For example, if a step-mom is doing an act like yoga in front of her step-son, I mean, that’s kinda like putting on Marvin Gaye and dimming the lights” Corbin stated. 

During this time, the world will be tested and difficult decisions will need to be made. However, no amount of worldwide financial ruin concerning the virus will ever reach the amount of conflict in Corbin’s head. 

In addition to Corbin’s thoughts, we were able to ask Mrs. Corbin her thoughts.

“Oh Auggie? That boy sure can’t take a hint,” said Mrs. Corbin.


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