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"This New Guy Ain’t Half Bad” says Student Strangely Invested in the Marching Band




During the Michigan-Wisconsin halftime performance by the Wisconsin Band last Saturday, Lee Crohn, a student at UW Madison, practically spat out with excitement “Huh, this new guy ain’t half bad” to no one in particular.


Crohn, an electrical engineering major, voiced his approval of the new marching director, Corey Pompey, telling whoever would listen that he “seems pretty good” and that “he wasn’t my first pick, but he’ll do.”


“It looks like he’s got the in’s and out’s down,” said Crohn as the band performed “Let’s Groove Tonight”, a song he said to the unlucky attendant standing to his immediate left is “not for beginners!”


“I was uncomfortable as fuck,” said a student within earshot. “He started rambling on about key changes and how keeping tempo for marching bands that switch time registers is a ‘near-advanced maneuver.’ It made me wanna leave but my post-game didn’t start until after ‘Jump Around.’”


“What a show so far!” said Crohn, a way too avid fan of the band. “Okay, guys, this is seriously awesome so far, I can’t believe it,” said Crohn, taking out his phone for a video on Snapchat.


Sources indicate that Crohn was seen trying to start a rush to the field by attendees who stayed for the Fifth Quarter performance, but no interview can be provided as no one has stepped up to admit they stayed for the Fifth Quarter at this time.

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