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"Wow, finals sneak up on ya," Says Student Who Hasn't Been to Lecture Since January

Finals are soon approaching at UW-Madison. This year, like many others, there has been no hesitation among students and staff alike in popping the question on unsuspecting fellow students: “Have ya started thinking about finals yet?” Surprisingly, sophomore Jeffrey Nash, who asked to be quoted as “Nosh,” has not started thinking about finals yet.

“I just like to live in the moment, ya know? One life, bro.” said Nosh. But his friends say that his penchant for living in the moment might be detrimental to his success in academia.

“I asked him, 'Do you want to study together?' because our final is next Monday. And Nosh just laughs. Then he says, ‘I don’t believe in next Monday, I only live for now’. It’s concerning,” said Dan Abra, Nosh’s friend of 14 years.

When asked about his finals, Nosh said, “Finals sneak up on ya. They’re tricky. They got stealth. You never see ‘em coming. I heard that they were next week, and according to my calculations, that’s like a billion ‘nows’ from now so I’ve got plenty of ‘nows’ to live in before I live in that ‘now’, ya know?”

Fellow students in his class report seeing Nosh in lecture for the first time this week.


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